


A Ticket To London

by sunnywritesstuff



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Abuse of Authority, Alcohol, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Artist Steve Rogers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Cigarettes, Complete, Drinking, Falling In Love, Gay Loki, Good Solider and Cynical Prostitute AU, Heavy Drinking, Human Loki (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kinktober, Kinktober 2018, M/M, Nude Modeling, One Night Stands, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Prostitute Loki (Marvel), Prostitution, Sad Ending, Smoking, Smut, Some minor violence, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Top Steve Rogers, WW2 AU, barely has anything to do with the plot don't worry, basically this takes place while steve is traveling, but everything else is pretty much in place, but he's never done it with a man, but not for too long, frostcap - Freeform, frostshield - Freeform, he serves a few months in one place while this happens, instead of peggy and steve it's steve and loki, loki is a human trying to earn some cash, loki is a sad boi, loki's clients are dickheads, minor mention of suicidal thoughts, power bottom loki, sort of off canon from marvel, sorta - Freeform, steve dies at the end like in the movie tho, takes place during The First Avenger, there's (somewhat) of a good ending, there's one original character who is a very minor antagonist, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-07-20 17:35:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16142135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnywritesstuff/pseuds/sunnywritesstuff
Summary: Basically, this takes place post-serum for Steve when he's traveling around as Captain America. He stays for a few months, likely in New England, where Loki is. Loki is a human and a prostitute who was discharged from the British Army for homosexuality and for 'medical problems'. He is a long-time prostitute with his own rules and is forced to go into the business to make a living once he leaves home for America. Now, he is dissatisified with America and wants to go home, but earning his way home will be very difficult on his salary. One day, Steve's buddies trick him into visiting Loki's room in the whorehouse. He sees Loki is injured and pays for him to come have dinner and let him clean up his wounds. The rest is history.





	1. The Wrong Place

Loki arched his back, presenting himself to the man who had just walked in, “What’ll it be today, handsome?” He didn’t bother to turn around, he could tell by the smell of the boot leather and the faint hint of gasoline that he was dealing with a soldier. Again.

“Oh-“ a confused voice behind him spoke, “I think I’m in the wrong place.” He began to back away. 

Loki whipped around, angry that this person was wasting his time. At least he was pretty to look at. Young, blond, tall. Strong. 

“What are you talking about?” he snapped, grabbing the towel next to him and wrapping it around his waist.

The man pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket, holding it out, “Someone left this in my locker, it’s a love note. I thought one of the other guys was meeting me here.”

Loki snatched the note, wondering who from the outside had gotten their hands on his location, “It seems that someone is playing a rather cruel joke on you. I don’t know who put this in your locker, but it wasn’t me. I’m a whore, you see. And you are..?”

The man’s eyes widened at the way Loki casually put his last sentence, his cheeks flushed red with embarrassment, “But you’re a man, how does that work out for you? Don’t you get into trouble? And I’m Capt-Steve.” He corrected himself quickly, clearly used to introducing himself to finer people.

Loki sighed, grabbing a cigarette from the nightstand. Clearly, this man had been counting on meeting someone tonight judging by his attire. 

Maybe he could drum up some business, the night was winding down anyway, “I’m in trouble even when I’m not letting people ram into me for a profit, so I don’t really care. And yes, I’m a man. I think that’s the point of the prank. Your ‘buddies’ think you’re gay, so they found my listing in the naughty magazines and lured you here as a joke.”

Steve’s nostrils flared in anger as he watched the long-haired man light his cigarette, treating the situation casually. When he turned around to put the lighter back in the drawer, Steve noticed a large bruise over his eye. There was blood dripping from a cut on his left temple as well.

“Are you okay? That looks-“ Steve reached out. 

Loki gave his hand a swift slap, “No touching the merchandise, pretty boy. Yes, I am aware of the wound. If you’re going to give me some business, I’ll turn around so you don’t have to see it.”

Steve recoiled, even more shocked at the way the prostitute treated his own body, “No, listen, I could help you. I know how to clean up small wounds and stuff, is someone hurting you?”

Loki took another puff on his cigarette, amused at this strange soldier, “You really are in the wrong place, darling.”

Sighing, Steve reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet that had two singles stuffed in it. It was the rest of his pay for the month, but he knew what he had to do. He couldn’t just leave this guy here, there was something about him. Besides, there was nothing else for him to do.

Smiling when he saw the money, Loki extended an almost dainty hand to receive the bills, “What are you in the mood for, Captain? That won’t buy you through the back door, but I can-”

“I’m not paying for sex. You can come have dinner with me and let me treat your wound, though,” Steve held out the money. 

A sly, yet sad smile crept across Loki’s face and he slipped the bills from the soldier’s fingers, “Oh honey, you’re making a big mistake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading! Chapter 2 will be posted next Sunday, please rate and comment! I love hearing what everyone thinks of my fics. If you're interested in Ironstrange, check out my Trouble In Paradise Fic. I also have an Ironfrost fic that I write with a friend, and it is currently in the works (What's A King To A God?).


	2. No Place Like Home

“Hey, are you even listening to me?” a gruff voice sounded in his ear, and Loki brought himself out of his daydream. 

“Sorry baby, I get a little absent-minded sometimes. I’m such a ditz,” Loki had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. This guy was here every other week, a high ranking commander. His poor wife across the sea never even knew he swung the other way, Loki almost pitied her. Almost. If he ever felt like crying about it, he’d just use some of her husband’s ration money to dry his eyes. That would definitely make him feel better.

“I said I love your ass so much, you ungrateful slut,” the commander grabbed a fistful of his hair, “How about I breed it real good?”

“Absolutely not! You know my rule!” Loki tried to get up, but the guy trapped him.

“Come on! I hate using these stupid rubbers, they don’t feel good,” the commander tried to keep him down, but Loki wriggled out from under him and stood up.

“Hey! I didn’t finish, you didn’t give me my money’s worth!” the brute tried to grab him again, but Loki dove to his dresser drawer, fishing out $3. It was only about half his money, but he was going to charge for an entrance fee. 

“Here, take it, and don’t show your face around here for a few weeks. You know my rules, Commander,” Loki spoke sourly, sad to see the money go but not wanting to let any rulebreakers slide.

“Ungrateful faggot,” the commander spat, snatching his money and hiking his pants back up. 

Loki rolled his eyes at the irony, watching the man collect the rest of his things and leave. He flipped the prostitute the bird before he left. 

While he had some downtime, Loki took the liberty of cleaning himself up and reapplying his makeup. While he was fixing his eyeshadow, there was a light knock at the door. Virgin? Mailman? Steve? Loki smiled in the mirror, his thoughts trailing back to the blond soldier who came to mind more often lately. They’d been meeting a couple of times over the last few weeks with Steve paying him to buy him dinner and let him bathe. 

He finished his makeup up and went over to the door, taking a look through the peephole. The young Captain was looking around, making sure no one was nearby to see him in the motel. Loki’s mouth curved up in a sad little smile, what was he doing to this poor boy? 

The prostitute swung the door open, posing in his silky lingerie, “What’s a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?” 

The look on Steve’s face was priceless and he quickly pushed Loki back into the room, “Careful! What if someone saw us?” 

Loki scoffed, “Nothing they haven’t seen before.” He peeled off the sweaty bra he was wearing to further prove his point of being apathetic toward nudity. 

Steve crinkled his brows in judgment, “I saw one of the commanders on the way out of here, you know. I’m going to have to start being careful about picking you up.” 

Loki laughed heartily, “Oh, darling. He’s more afraid of seeing YOU here, trust me. And after what he just pulled, you won’t have to worry about seeing him here for a while.” He went over to his closet, browsing through his available outfits for the night. 

“What did he do?” Steve asked with concern, keeping his hands in his pockets and lingering near Loki. 

“He must be smelling the new perfume,” Loki thought, admiring the Captain’s taste. He had bought it with the money he made off of him, so it was only fitting. Loki always kept Steve’s money separate from the other collections, the bills were always folded nicely. Not crinkled. Crisp. Fresh. 

“Ah, the usual,” Loki waved his hand to dismiss Steve’s concern, “Tried to spill inside me, held me down. He was drunk, so I gave him half his money back and threw him out. I have a rule about rubbers, you see. I may be a whore, but some of us have standards.”

“Jesus,” Steve whistled, “I can’t believe he’d do that, he’s married, you know. And are you okay? He didn't hit you, did he?”

Loki shook his head, leafing through some normal-looking shirts before selecting one, “That doesn’t stop them, even you must know that. And I'm fine, he was too drunk to compose himself so I got away easily. How do you like this green one?”

Steve rubbed his temple at the thought of poor Mrs. Bedford at home, so many thousands of miles away and unaware of her cheating husband. Maybe he should write to her, anonymously of course. He also thought of Loki, having to deal with men like the commander every day, men who ravaged him like animals and tried to dirty him with their release. It made him angry, but he tried to keep himself at bay. After all, Loki didn't seem all too worried, at least not about Bedford in particular, “The green looks good, but you can wear whatever you want. It’s humid out.”

The prostitute frowned, “I do despise that heat. I hate the sun. It’s part of why this job is slightly more tolerable, I get to be inside.”

“If you hate it, why don’t you just pack up and set up somewhere else?” Steve joked, “I’m sure you’d find work anywhere if even the commanders are taking escorts.”

Loki gave him a dry laugh, “I wish. I’d love to go back to England, hardly any sun and plenty of soldiers to suck on for a profit.” 

Steve grinned at Loki’s dark humor, “There’s no place like home, I suppose. Let’s go soon, maybe we can make it home before the bar crowd comes out.”

“Home,” Loki thought about Steve’s word choice as he quickly changed his clothes. The word resonated with him, was the good Captain already so attached? He couldn’t help but feel a bit melancholy, he knew this wouldn’t end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I hope you enjoyed chapter 2, the next one will be posted next Sunday. Please rate and comment if you can, I love hearing what you all think. In the mean time, I'm also regularly updating my Kinktober project. It's a oneshot collection that I'm using a multitude of Marvel ships for, so you can all check that out if you think it'll be interesting: [MCU Kinktober 2018 Oneshots](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184075/chapters/37818227/) .


	3. The Serpent and The Soldier

As they ate at an inn near to where Steve was stationed, Loki became increasingly irritated at the radio Steve always insisted stayed on. It constantly babbled war news, war messages, war songs, war, war, war. It annoyed him, how people constantly talked about this stupid war going on. At least in his business, nobody talked about the bloody war. No one talked about how hard it was and whom they had lost and how much they missed their wives when they pounded into him mercilessly. In a way, whoring had some advantages, but not many.

“Why do you keep that thing on all day?” Loki gestured to the radio with his fork. It was very bothersome, especially since it was making all the noise in the little room they had rented for the rest of the night. 

“In case I hear the names, and well, don’t you care about the news?” Steve glanced at the radio, reluctant to turn it down.

“Well, that’s the thing. They hardly talk about the news anymore, just the latest battle and some of the names, yes. And then they go back to whining about things that have already happened, and they play the sad songs that make women cry alone at night in their kitchens,” Loki explained bluntly, stabbing another potato wedge. 

Steve wasn’t sure exactly what to say to that, “Listen, you don’t get it. What it’s like out there, it’s not rosy and pretty like-”

Loki laughed over him, “Whorehouses are not rosy or pretty, but I wouldn’t compare it to war life, no. Believe me, I know.”

Steve cocked his head in doubt, “You? You were enlisted?”

Loki nodded, “I was. My father basically forced my brother and I to attend military school when we were younger. Not because we were bad, not all the time at least, but because, how did he put it? ‘It was the noble sort of thing to do’ I think that was what he told my mother. Anyway, they tried to draft me and I tricked my way through most things because I’m not rather strong. Boot camp was miserable. My commanding officer recognized me from the brothel and got me released promptly because of ‘asthma’. I suppose he was afraid I would turn our unit into a business, which is quite funny, only one other man in our unit was homosexual.” 

Steve watched him telling the story and shook his head, “God, and you didn’t even try to fight that? I did so much to get into the position I’m in. I can’t believe that guy kicked you out because you were-are, uh, gay. I mean, I know it's a law, but these days we can use all the guys we can get.”

Loki was amused at Steve’s awkwardness at the last bit, “No, I didn’t fight it. You see, England is such a small country that once your secret is out, it’s not going back in the box. I actually come from a particularly wealthy family, but I started doing what I do to hear all of the secrets. I love them, all the juicy bits and pieces people whisper to you between the sheets. Then people started paying me a small fee. After I came home and my father kicked me out of the house for being a coward, I moved here and set up shop at the first brothel available. I wasn’t going to stay home if everyone was going know I was gay, all sorts of things would have changed.”

“Wow,” was all Steve could say, “I can't say I would have done the same, but I can see why you did it all. It's a lot to take in."

Chuckling, Loki finished his plate and took a sip of his wine, “Indeed it is. But you see, America isn’t much different when it comes to that whole ‘secrets outside the box’ concept. I learned that not two months after I've been living here. I rather miss England, it’s been a few years, and well, I do miss my mother. We still write, she comes to see me when she can, which isn’t often. I’ve told her lately to just stay home, the waters are too dangerous. Even with all of that, what I wouldn't do for a ticket to London...” He mused a bit, trailing off so he wouldn't go off on a rant. Loki wanted to go home, but he didn't want to insult America too much in front of the captain.

“Well, that’s why the war is important. If we win, you can see her again,” Steve pointed out, his patriotic side coming out again. 

“I intend to see her long before that, I’m trying to make enough to buy my way back. My father won't cover anything once I'm there, either. I'd have to hide, make my own life away from the rest of my family. I’ll buy an apartment or something when I’m there. Maybe I’ll open a gay bar just to irritate my father. You see, I don’t like staying in one place for too long. If you do that, everyone learns your business and knows you too well,” Loki remarked, finishing his wine. 

“You sure are strange, Loki. Most of the guys I know would never willingly up and go like that,” Steve told him, “But I get it, with the whole gay thing. I, well… I haven’t told anyone. What happened when I met you, that was just a prank, they don’t actually think I’m... Y’know? I don’t know what would happen if I got found out. They’d make sure I got discharged for sure.”

“The world is a cruel place,” Loki pointed out, “That’s why they all come to share my bed. Nobody knows and nobody needs to know when you're with a whore."

“What is that, uh, like, anyway?” Steve tried to fix their conversation and steer away from the dark tone it had taken.

“Sleeping with men?” this poor boy, he was so beautifully and cruelly in denial. Loki twirled a lock of his hair around one of his long fingers, clearly amused by Steve's forward question. His brimming curiosity aroused Loki in more ways than one.

Steve could only nod and blush in response, picking up after their empty dishes and placing the tray off to the side.

“It’s quite nice, but you know how men are. Most of them are terrible at it, you aren’t exactly getting the cream of the crop down in a brothel. It’s people like me who know how to do it right. And well, there are some who enjoy receiving and some who enjoy giving, it really depends on who you are. You pay me all this money, why don’t you just let me show you?” Loki began examining his nails as he gave Steve his proposition, tempting his own burning question.

“No, it wouldn’t feel right, it wouldn’t be right… Look, I don’t even really know what I’m attracted to anymore. I'm so busy lately, there isn't a lot of time for love and affairs. I don't always have time to think about these things. The way I see love, it'll just...Come to me, when it's ready, I don't want to have to pay for it. Besides, I don't want you to have to worry about fucking me with all these other guys coming around all day.” Steve tried to reason with him, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself of something.

“You sound very confused, dear. I think you need some time to think without the serpent whispering in your ear, so I’ll...leave you alone for a bit. But if you change your mind,” Loki produced a business card from his pocket that reeked of his perfume and had his perfectly crafted signature on the front, along with his address, "I'm always available. Of all the men I'd prefer to lie with, you'd probably be at the top of the list, mostly because you feed me and you are very kind. I'd gladly teach you the ropes for your price...Think of it as a favor you can cash for all the work you've done for me."

He tucked the card into Steve’s shirt pocket and gave him a pat on the head, “I’ll be here to talk, or fuck, or whatever it is you want to do.” 

“You don’t have to leave,” Steve started, but Loki was already getting his coat, “I…”

“Goodnight, darling. Do think about all of this, really do. I would hate to see you get hurt because of a hasty decision. And by the way, I owe you a few dollars for leaving right after dinner. You can come to collect them when you’re ready, one way or another,” Loki turned the knob after flashing Steve a sweet smile.

Steve’s shoulders slumped a bit, but his expression was one of acceptance, Loki was right. He really did need to find some time to contemplate where he wanted to take this, “I’ll see you around, don't get into too much trouble.”

Loki was pleased with his answer, "Oh, I'll be careful. See you around, Captain." He gave a sweet wave and left, confident Steve would come back to him soon. Loki knew he wouldn't be able to resist his curiosity or pass up the offer of a lifetime: to explore his sexuality without fear or boundaries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you for reading! Sorry the chapter is a day late, my notifications were off on when to post and I just forgot because of my busy weekend. I don't think it will happen again. Please rate and comment and make sure you check out my Kinktober MCU Oneshot collection for more Marvel smut!


	4. Mistakes and Money

Loki was busy having a shower when Steve knocked on the door. It had been exactly two weeks. He knew it was Steve because his stocking was hung on the doorknob, the sign he used to turn customers away when he wasn’t open.

Also, if people knocked when the stocking was on the door, he typically wasn't very nice and most of the men had learned to keep away. He wasn’t doing business today because he was taking a day for leisure and the last man he’d serviced had given him quite a few bruises in his drunken and rageful state. 

“One moment!” Loki called before finishing his shower as quickly as he could. The hot water was going to run out at any moment anyway, people used it like hope in this building. Once he had dried off enough, he wrapped a towel around himself to hide the bruises and went to go let Steve in.

“Oh, hey, were you busy? I can go-” Steve shuffled nervously when he saw Loki in nothing but a towel. He forced his eyes to stay upward, trying not to let his imagination get the best of him. Even if he was in a brothel, he would feel indecent just showing up at Loki's door and walking in with a hard-on.

“No, I’m not. I’m taking a day off, so you can come in,” Loki motioned for him to come inside before heading back to the bathroom to finish cleaning himself up, “I’ll be out in a moment.”

After drying his hair as best he could, Loki slipped on one of his only luxuries from home, an old green Chinese robe. It had been a gift from one of his more wealthy clients who had it imported. It hid the bruises well and he still felt sexy in it, so what wasn’t to like? He put his hair up quickly and went back into his room where Steve was sitting on the bed. 

“So, how is your war going?” Loki introduced, sitting next to him. 

Steve hadn’t been expecting that question, “Oh, well, I mean, it’s the usual. Not enough meat to go around, or good spirits. How are you?”

“Fine,” Loki replied, effectively killing the conversation.

“Listen, I-”

“So-” 

They both started at the same time, but Loki quickly fixed things, “You go, what’s on your mind?”

“I want to try it, but… I want to go slow,” Steve blurted out.

Not able to keep the grin off of his face, Loki was proud he had turned Steve for the better, “Slow is fine, dear. What do you want to start with?”

“Um, just, I guess just kissing? I’ve never kissed a man before, but I was thinking about it and I couldn’t really sleep last night because I just couldn’t get all of this out of my head. And well, you were right, and I have to try it or I’m never going to know, and-” Loki leaned over and kissed Steve before he could continue on his tangent. 

It started off awkward as Steve adjusted himself, but soon deepened and got out of hand. Before he knew it, his back was to the mattress and the soldier was on top of him, trailing kisses up and down his neck. He was so gentle and it felt so good...Especially to Loki, who was used to being tossed around like a rag doll. 

The thing was, Steve never got to having sex with him. After their initial makeout session, that was all the soldier wanted to do. It wasn’t because he didn’t want it, Loki could many a time feel the man’s arousal brushing against him, but Steve always made up an excuse not to go to the next level. 

Afterword, they would get their usual dinner and talk more. Loki told him more about being homosexual, Steve told him more about the war. For a while, the setup worked, but it soon began to irk Loki that his partner never wanted to lie with him. If Steve was getting so aroused, why didn’t he just engage him? Something had to be done.

\----------

One day, when they were wrapped up together in a hotel bed, Loki ran his hand over the bulge in Steve’s pants as they were snogging.

Instantly, Steve stopped kissing him, “What’re you doing?” His voice was deep and breathy and Loki hoped he would go along with it.

“Let’s do it, come on love,” Loki leaned in to nuzzle Steve’s neck, kissing him gently and moving his hand up to slip into the soldier’s pants, "Like you were saying the first time we kissed."

Panicking, Steve pulled back from Loki and rolled out of their bed, “Don’t-Don’t do that, I’m not ready... Not yet."

Loki, very irritated that he was ruining things for them, jolted up in the bed, “What do you mean you’re not ready? You’re hard as a bloody rock! I don’t know how you walk around that, not relieving yourself, it’s pitiful.” 

Steve sighed and looked down at his feet, not being able to meet Loki’s gaze, “It’s...It’s complicated, okay?”

“Well, we’ve got all damn night, that’s what you paid me for, so talk,” Loki sat back down next to him, angered at this terrible waste of time.

Steve began pacing, trying to word things gently, “It’s just, I’ve never done this before, you know, and well… You’re you, and I’m me. I’ve never really done anything sex-related, especially not with guys. And well, you’re so experienced… And I’m also worried about, y’know…” He winced at the way he had worded things, trying to think of a better way to convey his cold feet to Loki.

Finally realizing what he was trying to say, Loki fumed, “Diseases. You’re worried about diseases and you don’t want to give your virginity to a dirty old whore, am I right?”

“No-Listen, it’s not like that, okay? You’re not a-Look, I mean, I know you’ve got your rule about the rubbers and everything, but there’s still a risk. They've been talking about it more and more, a lot of guys are getting sick. And I don’t know, there’s this girl at work…” Steve internally kicked himself and trailed off, none of his words sounded right, so he stopped talking. 

Loki tried not to feel the hurt as it overcame him, it wasn’t like any of this was going to work anyway. Why would anyone want to have something serious with him? He shouldn’t blame the poor soldier for wanting to break things off, but Loki had been hoping he would come around or at least come up with something better than the pathetic drivel he was currently spouting. He had also been enjoying their nights together, Steve made him feel human again, made him feel wanted for once. Not useless. Not to mention what he’d been sneaking, lately. Putting the money back into Steve’s pockets when he fell asleep, so far he hadn’t noticed. Loki got up quickly and went to go change in the bathroom. 

“Loki,” Steve started to follow him, voice breaking with emotion and guilt. 

“Don’t,” Loki put his hand up and closed the bathroom door, trying to ignore the stinging feeling of tears in his eyes. Once his things were together, he took a deep breath and tried to compose himself before he left the bathroom. Steve was on the bed, holding onto the blanket they had been sharing. 

He got up when he saw Loki, “Please don’t leave, look, we can do it, I don’t know what I was saying-”

“Don’t bother, Captain. I’m not going to guilt you into fucking me, but I offer you a bit of advice. If you’re going to go find a man to settle down with in the future, consider not fetishizing us and don’t waste our time,” Loki hissed out, making his way to the door.

“No, listen, Loki, wait… I mean, I’m not going to, I mean, you didn’t like our arrangement? Why can’t we go back to what had? I paid you, I thought that was all you cared about! And we had fun together, we can still do that, I just don’t want to take any risks,” Steve tried to grab his arm.

Loki was further incensed and turned around, tearing his arm out of Steve's grip, “Is that really what you think of me? A liability? You’re just as much of a coward as the rest of them, in your own way. I’m not even human to you, I’m just a stingy slut, right? Well, I happen to be full of surprises. Check your bloody pockets, you blithering idiot.” With that, he promptly left and exited the hotel as fast as he could. Steve didn’t follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, guys! Next chapter will be posted on the coming Sunday as always. I'm trying to find time to write for Kinktober and my other fics, but there hasn't been a free day in awhile. Shooting for next week. Have a great day guys!


	5. The Soldier Returns

The next few weeks were miserable, cold, and depressing. Loki took as many clients as he could get. He didn’t answer the door when Steve knocked-who had taken to slipping notes and money under the door. Loki always forced them back under. The money would have helped him, after all, business was slow with the winter frost and a lot of his old clients had been moved. None of the new ones wanted to come out in the snow or the wind, but Loki would be damned if he let his pride fall as low as his reputation. 

One day, the prostitute came home from grocery shopping very early and Steve was sitting in front of his door. Loki did his best to ignore the man, who looked hungover and in a very poor state. He focused on retrieving his keys while he balanced the bag of groceries in the crook of his arm.

“Loki, please,” Steve croaked out like a broken record. He tried to get up, but failed and fell back onto the ground with a pathetic thunk. His face twisted and he groaned, his head spinning. 

Loki heard footsteps coming from up the stairs as he opened his door, recognized the gait of the boots and sound of a familiar whistle. Commander Bedford. Steve knew it too and looked up at him frantically. 

For a split second, Loki contemplated leaving Steve there. He would be discharged and Loki knew that would be his downfall. At the last moment, an ounce of pity for the soldier convinced him otherwise. He grabbed Steve’s arm and helped haul him up as best as he could.

“Go and hide. Now,” Loki hissed as he pushed him inside.

Steve did what he was told and got in before the commander saw his face, dizzied by the sudden effort. He should NOT have had those extra shots. 

Loki quickly shut the door behind Steve, placing his grocery bag down and crossing his arms, “I’m taking another client right now, Commander.” He did his best to look brave and less like a man with the build of a green bean who could easily be snapped in half. 

“C’mon, it’s been so long, I waited like you told me too. Listen, none of these whores are like you, none of ‘em are as good. I got a rubber this time, see?” the commander produced a cheap-looking condom from his pocket and held it out.

“I just told you, I’m taking another client right now, you’ll just have to wait,” Loki waited a few moments longer to ensure that Steve had found a hiding place before picking up his grocery bag again, turning towards his door once more. 

Bedford, however, was not keen on waiting and surged forward, “You need to let me fuck you, now. Throw that other guy out, come on, I want it and you have to give it to me. All these months, all the money I’ve given your dirty ass, and you want me to take sloppy seconds?”

His breath reeked of alcohol and coffee, two commodities in these times. Loki struggled with him as the commander ripped the grocery bag from his hands, pushing him into the wall.

“Bloody hell, at least let’s go inside,” Loki tried to push him off of him, "Stop it, you brute! You're hurting me!" His arms trembled as he tried to fend off his attacker, who was already trying to attack his neck with drunken kisses. 

“What do you care if people see? You’re a fucking prostitute. This is a whorehouse,” Bedford gestured down the hallway before ripping off Loki's scarf. Various grunts and moans could be heard, muffled by the walls around them. 

Steve could hear their conversation from his place in the bathroom, hiding behind the shower curtain. He thought frantically about what he should do, but what if Bedford saw him? He would lose everything he had built if he was spotted.

“Listen, you’re really quite drunk right now, I don’t even think you can consent to this, can’t you just wait to sober up?” Loki tried a new approach as he continued to try and reason with him, looking around for ways to escape. 

Bedford grabbed him by the hair to keep him in place, continuing to kiss his neck, fisting his hand through the waistband of Loki’s pants, “Shut up, whore.” 

“Stop it, damn it! I told you no,” Loki panicked and writhed, trying to get away. There would be no reasoning with the alcoholic now. He kicked Bedford in the groin and pushed the commander off of him. The man was so drunk he fell over. He got up staggering, clearly dizzy and managed to throw a punch that blindsided Loki who fell over and slumped against the wall.

Steve heard the scuffle and knew what he had to do. He couldn't let Loki get beat up, he just couldn't. The urge to fight pulsed through his veins like white-hot adrenaline as he climbed out of Loki's bathtub and made his way to the door. Loki’s words came into his head again, “You’re just as much a coward as the rest of them...check your bloody pockets...coward…”

Steve ripped open the door after he equipped himself with a frying pan. The commander was slumped over against the wall and Loki sat next to him, clutching his cheek. Steve dropped the pan, seeing no need to use it but still incensed, and went over to the window. They were on the second floor, it wasn’t much of a drop... He decided there was only one way to deal with the intoxicated commander. 

Steve opened the window, a gust of cold wind rattling the frame and making the hairs on Steve's neck stand up. It was bitterly cold and there was freezing mud on the dirty ground below, a perfect bed for an abusive asshole.

The soldier scooped up the flailing Commander Bedford, who grunted and yelled incoherently with frustration. Steve promptly tossed him out the window. 

After slamming the rickety window shut, Steve quickly picked up Loki’s groceries and placed the bag inside the door before collecting his lover as well. Loki had passed out from the blow he had taken to the head, but Steve knew how to get him right again. He'd suffered many similar wounds over the course of his life and thought of how Bucky took care of him after alley fights as he laid Loki down in his bed. 

Peeling off the prostitute's boots, Steve couldn't help but kick himself. If he hadn't been such a coward again, he would have been able to save Loki from more pain. Getting a good look at the swelling on Loki's face while he tucked him in, Steve silently resolved to himself and Loki that he would never to let this happen again...Even if it cost him his reputation, he had to do right by this beautiful man who had already suffered so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Chapter 6 is in the works and I can see a clear end for the fic in sight, so stay tuned for future chapters. I have off after this week is up, so I will try to write as much as possible. I also need to update my other Kinktober stuff, so we'll see how much I get done. Please rate and comment, I love hearing what you guys think and I'm so grateful for all the support I've received so far. Have an awesome week guys, lets get this bread!!


	6. Fixing Things

Loki woke up with a pounding headache and found himself tucked into bed. A small compress of ice was resting on his sore temple and he was still in his clothes. Some faint little clinking noises came from the tiny kitchen that Loki ate his sad meals in, as well as noises from a man walking around. Groaning in pain as he forced himself to get up, Loki dizzily made his way to the doorway to confirm his suspicions.

Steve looked up from the stove where he stood, “Oh, Loki, you should… You should really go back to bed.” His head still throbbed from the hangover, but he needed to compose himself if he wanted Loki to have even an ounce of respect left for him.

“Why are you still here, soldier?” Loki mumbled and yawned, making his way over to icebox and returning the compress to the shelf inside before plopping himself down at one of the rickety kitchen chairs. 

“Because I love you,” Steve spoke confidently this time, he was not going to fuck this up. 

This deep confession and change in confidence for Steve, uttered over the stirring of carrot soup, nearly floored Loki who was still woozy from his injury, “And why the hell would you say that?”

“Because it’s true and I’m sick of begging for an audience with you just so I can butcher some long, awkward, drawn-out speech. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this, I really have. Back there, I didn’t say the right things. They were excuses, hidden insecurities that bubbled up, things I should have just been honest about with you instead of just repressing. Maybe I needed some time on my own to really understand myself and what I was going to commit to, I don’t know,” Steve responded as calmly as he could, “I’m going to make you dinner tonight because you need to eat, but past that I’ll see myself home so you can rest. If you want to see me again after today, you can meet me at the Crown Hotel next Saturday for dinner. Sound good?”

“Well that was very noble of you,” Loki yawned again, unable to keep himself from smiling and blushing a bit at Steve’s words. Dwelling for a few moments on Steve's words, Loki realized that this was probably one of the only men he had known in his life that had bothered to try to fix his mistakes. Still, Loki would still need time to truly forgive the soldier, especially because he could hold a grudge like no other. But he had to admit...He had missed Steve.

The choice he had to make continued to nag at him: Did he want to take seriously the words of a sexually confused soldier who had spent years in the closet and who hadn’t spent nearly any time flirting in his entire 20 years of life? 

Or did he want to accept that Steve hadn’t been expecting the confrontation, had concerns about sex that they needed to address before they took their relationship to the next level and that he would probably never meet anyone who cared about him more than Steve?

The latter seemed the most appealing to Loki, who wasn’t inclined to drag out the silent treatment between him and Steve any longer.

Steve acknowledged Loki's typical cynical attitude toward his speeches but saw some of the old spark return to his face. He knew it would take time for Loki to forgive him, but part of Steve knew he likely already had by the look on his face. Seeing Loki smile again gave him hope. He would have to work hard and prove himself to Loki, but he would do it. 

Steve didn’t want anyone else, he knew that now. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", as the saying went, and this had definitely applied to him during his nights alone without Loki. Steve turned off the gas and poured the soup into two bowls. After retrieving them a couple of spoons, he set the bowls down on the table and took his place across from Loki.

Loki smiled and shook his head as Steve presented him with food, “You really are one in a million, you know that?” He took the spoon up in his hand and finally permitted himself to look up at Steve, who had this beautiful glimmer of hope in his eyes. Loki couldn’t help but love them, those blue eyes, so raw and determined. He had no idea how he had this stocky, blond, blue-eyed American pining after him and begging for his forgiveness, but here he was. If he was being honest with himself, Loki loved it.

“Don’t flatter me, Loki. I’m just another one of those...how did you put it that one time? I’m a careless American young man full of dangerously hopeful spirit?” Steve half-smiled back, remembering one of their jokes.

“...Who is surrounded by too many bad things and opportunities alike,” Loki finished the joke, smirking now at the resonating truth. The hot soup tasted delicious after a week of days-old bread, canned vegetables, and little bits of cheese when he could afford it. As they filled their bellies, he made the decision to show up at the Crown Hotel. 

There was nothing left to lose for him, and only Steve to gain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the late chapter! I was at a festival yesterday that took basically all day, so here's the newest chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it and thank you for the feedback you've given me so far, I appreciate it a whole lot! If you're interested, I also published a new oneshot for my Kinktober MCU collection which you can take a look at here: [Sucker For A Man In Uniform](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184075/chapters/38738081). See you guys soon with chapter 7!


	7. The Sketchbook

From there they had advanced on, long after Loki met him at the Crown Hotel the subsequent Friday. 

For several weeks they spent as much time as they could together between Steve’s missions. Meal after meal, hotel after hotel, they fixed things.

Instead of pursuing his goal of bedding Steve, Loki took more time to examine him closely. One night, the Captain told him his story.   
Not the one about his childhood and what had happened to his parents, Loki had heard that one. Steve told him about the experiment, the secret to his strength and the reason for his frequent absences to go give speeches to motivate soldiers. It was also during this meal where Steve also showed Loki his sketchbook.

“Can I look through it?” Loki asked, peering over Steve’s shoulder at the various drawings of trains, trees, soldiers, and other things he suspected were from Steve’s daily life.

“Ah, you can, but don’t laugh when you see some of them. I just kind of doodle what’s in front of me or what I’m feeling, sometimes it gets muddled together. A lot of them aren’t very good,” Steve hesitantly passed Loki the book and hoped he didn’t find any of the cartoons he had done when he first started out, those were really amateur.

Loki leafed through the book, chuckling when he saw the mishmash of war scribbles among what were clearly figments of Steve’s imagination; hot air balloons, circus trains, a steak dinner, shooting stars. It was charming, seeing how the man’s inner spirit poured through the mess of war around him.

He flipped back a good 14 pages and saw something that made his eyes light up with excitement.

“I wonder who this could be?” Loki mused, pointing at sketches of himself. He took note of the fact that almost all of them were shoulders-up drawings with heavy detail on his face and hair. The small Lokis on the page conveyed a multitude of expressions; happiness, sarcasm, exasperation, wonder… It was amazing how well Steve had animated him, long hair drooping in loose ponytails or hanging wet onto his shoulders when he greeted him at the door after a shower. 

“Oh god, not those. Those are terrible! I did much better ones in the middle of the book, let me show you,” Steve blushed with embarrassment and tried to grab the book back. 

Evading him, Loki continued to peer down at the doodles of himself. One drawing in particular interested him, one of the only full-body ones. It was him in the green Chinese robe, long legs hanging over the edge of the bed. What intrigued him the most was how the neck of the robe hung low, exposing the tops of his shoulder blades lazily. In the drawing, his head was lowered as he put his hair up in a bun. 

Loki couldn’t help but feel it was suggestive, the way the neck came down like that. It was almost as if Steve was interested to see what he looked like underneath, probably because he had only seen him naked two or three times and refused to look.

“If you wanted, we could recreate something like that,” Loki pointed to the drawing in the corner, “Sans the robe if you wanted it to be artsier.”

“Oh, uh-” Steve stopped trying to take the book back, his face growing even redder, “If you want to.” His heart pounded as the blood rushed to his nether regions, immediately excited at the premise of drawing something so scandalous. Even so, it excited him like nothing else. 

“I’ll take that as a hard ‘yes’,” Loki pointed down at the tent in Steve’s pants, “No pun intended.” 

“God,” Steve crossed his legs, “You’re gonna have too much fun with this.”

“I absolutely will,” Loki replied, beginning to take off the loose shirt he’d donned after dinner, “Now scooch, this bed is all mine. I need room to pose.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! Hope y'all liked reading, I felt like I needed to include some artist!Steve in here or I wouldn't be doing him justice. Stay tuned for the next part of their little escapade!
> 
> *If you like my Frostshield content, you can check the newest and very nsfw oneshot I wrote for [Day 18](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184075/chapters/38836307). It's basically jotunn!Loki seducing Steve, enjoy!


	8. Draw Me Like One Of Your French Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter ahead, I couldn't resist the cheesy title. Consider this a present for all of my dedicated readers out there, you guys know who you are. ;)

Loki sprawled out onto the bed after Steve got up, practicing poses while Steve set up a stool and got a large book to lean on while he sketched. He made a mental note of some poses he wouldn’t mind being in and not moving out of for long periods of time. Once Steve cleared his throat amusedly to signal Loki that he was ready, the prostitute quickly shed his clothing and laid out in a classic pose on his side, “Just draw in a fancy couch under me and then it’ll look legitimate.” 

Letting out a low whistle, Steve began to get to work.

“Looks like someone knows exactly what he wants,” the Captain joked, setting up the basic circle and square-like shapes that would set the base for the rest of the sketch.

“That’s how you’ve got to be in order to be a model, dear. I’m simply getting into character,” Loki batted his eyelashes exaggeratingly at Steve, not moving from his position. 

When Steve laughed, Loki couldn’t help but crack a smile, which immediately made him feel shy. He didn’t smile often, only when Steve was around, and hoped there wasn’t anything in his teeth. 

Even in his business, he wasn’t used to being naked and staying in one position for so long while someone studied him. Most of the men he laid with were quick about what they did anyway, but this was entirely different. First of all, it was the previously prude Steve who had become a rather big love interest for Loki in the last few months. Second of all, he couldn’t remember the last time he was actually happy being out of his clothes, and Steve was the only man who made him feel that way. Loki wanted to shake his head and walk around a bit to clear his mind, which was getting the better of him while he had to be alone with it. 

Instead, he focused on Steve to keep him busy; the scratches of the pencil against the cheap paper, the quick glances up to check if his proportions were still on point, the way he tapped his pencil against his thigh when he was thinking. Loki loved this moment, every aspect of it, as he soaked it in. Something about it made him feel finally at peace, like no other night in his life would ever be as significant and this one.

At the culmination of his masterpiece, Steve took one last look at Loki to compare the drawing. It looked perfect, for what it was. He was actually proud of one of his drawings for once, it was way more than a sketch. If he could save up the money, he would buy some paint to make it colorful. 

Loki snapped out of his thoughts when he noticed Steve’s pencil had stopped drawing and relaxed a bit, “Is it almost finished? I’ve got this terrible itch behind my ear and I’ve been dying to scratch it.”

“It’s done, yeah,” Steve half-smiled at Loki’s remark, "Wanna see?"

The prostitute sprung up to take a look at the painting, stretching and righting himself before he did. 

“Oh my god,” Loki’s hand flew to his chest, “It’s gorgeous! How did you just do that?”

Steve shrugged and blushed, “Well, you sat so still for me an’ I just kind of… drew it.”

Loki reached out to massage Steve’s shoulders, “You’re too humble. If only paint wasn’t so expensive, you could color it in. I’d look like one of those tasteful nude paintings in the museums instead of a dirty little street rat.” He laughed at his own joke and continued peering down at the drawing, in awe of Steve’s abilities to capture him so well.

Steve, on the other hand, was becoming more and more aware of how hard he was. Even though he had been focusing more on the details of the drawing, his dick was still interested in the naked sight of Loki before him. As he rubbed his shoulders, Steve could smell the hint of perfume on Loki’s wrists, which had him shooting up even more. 

“Naughty, naughty,” Loki pointed to the growing bulge in Steve’s pants with a sneaky grin, making the soldier blush even more, “What are you going to do about that one, darling?”

“You aren’t a dirty street rat. And well,” Steve turned to look Loki confidently in the eye, “I can think of a few ways to deal with it.”

“Really?” Loki’s smile grew wider and he trailed one hand down Steve’s shoulder, over his belly, making its way to his thigh. The act rendered a fresh heat to Steve’s face as he eyed Loki’s hand hungrily. 

“I wouldn’t want my uniform to get all dirty, though…” Steve murmured suggestively, glancing up at Loki again.

Taking his cue, Loki began to make a show of undressing the Captain. His fingers inched under the soldier’s collar, removing his tie and setting it on the table behind them. He reached down and slowly undid the buttons on his jacket and shirt, one by one. 

Piece by piece, Steve’s uniform was removed and folded neatly on the table. By the time Loki was finished, he was left only in his boxers and socks. 

“Well, you make quick work of me, didn’t you?” Steve mused as Loki went in for a kiss. He reached out to graze up Loki’s sides, fingertips just barely touching his pale skin as they skimmed over him. 

Loki deepened the kiss as he felt his skin prickle with goosebumps under Steve’s careful touches. He brought one of Steve’s hands up to his nipple and the other he guided slowly down his belly. 

Steve pushed his tongue neatly between Loki’s pretty pink lips to explore his mouth, rubbing over his nipple with his thumb and loving the feeling of it hardening under his touch. His cock strained more as his fingers brushed over Loki’s cock, which was half-hard. 

Loki broke the kiss first, brushing his nose against Steve’s briefly as the soldier cupped his length and played with his chest, soaking in the moment for a moment before slowly getting onto his knees. 

Steve burned with desire when he saw what was coming next, parting his legs for Loki.

The prostitute resumed eye contact as he made a show of hooking his thumbs into Steve’s boxers and pulling them down.

Licking his lips when Steve’s generous length emerged from its confines, Loki ran his fingers up the warm shaft.

“Looks like the super-serum came with the... full package,” Loki remarked, his fingers closing around Steve’s cock, thumb stroking over the head, “And you’ve never done it with a man before? This is going to be good.”

Steve blushed, running a hand through his hair out of habit, “Just go slow with me, I’ll try my best to do it right.”

“Just let me help you out, honey,” Loki leaned down, looking up at Steve as his tongue flicked out to taste the pre-cum beading out of Steve’s cock, “I’ll get you started.” With that, he began to take Steve into his mouth.

Steve moaned and his cock jumped as Loki gradually took his dick deeper into his throat. He didn’t realize it would feel THIS good and adjusted himself so Loki had better access. As Loki went on, the wet slurping sounds he made got louder, making Steve even more aroused. He rested his hands on the top of Loki’s head, playing with his hair as his lover continued to suck him off. 

Loki decided to change things up a little and gave Steve’s cock one last lick before moving down to take one of his balls into his mouth, bracing one hand on the soldier’s thigh and using the other to continue pleasuring his cock.

“Oh fuck,” Steve huffed, struggling not to cum, “Loki, I think I’m getting close.”

Taking this as a sign to stop, Loki licked over his balls a few more times and once more up the underside of his cock before getting back up again.

“Okay,” the prostitute breathed out, “Do you want to fuck me or do you just want to jizz down my throat?”

Steve winced at the absence of Loki’s mouth, blinking to right himself again, “I want to fuck you, if that’s uh, okay with you.”

Loki smiled to Steve reassuringly as he walked over to the bed again, “So cute. And of course you can fuck me, sweetheart. My ass is for the taking.”  
“So do I just…” Steve trailed off, getting up to follow Loki.

“Oh, no,” Loki answered his unspoken question, “I have to prep myself first. If you put your cock in right now it would be very painful for both of us.” He reached into his bag that sat at the end of the bed and produced a bottle of lube, “This shouldn’t take too long, you can watch if you’d like.”

“Yes please,” Steve replied, focusing on the bottle. 

“Good boy. Okay,” Loki sat down and got himself comfortable, splaying open his legs, “So I’m basically just going to use this lube to stretch my hole open so it’s ready for your cock. It feels nice.” 

Steve nodded wordlessly as he took a spot adjacent from his lover, his cock twitching at the sight of his Loki's tight pucker. 

Loki went on to demonstrate what stretching was to Steve, who watched with enraptured curiosity. Loki loved the attention, especially the look on Steve’s face as he scissored his fingers in and out of himself. Eventually, Loki felt that he was ready to take on the soldier’s girthy cock, and pulled his fingers out.

“Are you ready?” Steve snapped out of his daze when Loki stopped stretching.

“Yes, just give yourself a little slick and we’ll be set,” Loki passed Steve the bottle, who lubed up his dick as fast as he could, being generous with the lube. 

“Okay, so just position yourself between my legs, it’s not that much different than a woman,” Loki laid back, giving Steve enough room to position himself, “Okay, good. Now just push in very gently, okay? It’ll only take a moment or two for you to bottom out.”

Steve obeyed, slowly pushing his tip through Loki’s entrance, paying close attention to what he was doing so he wouldn’t hurt his partner. Inch by inch, Loki helped guide him inside until he felt his balls pressing against Loki’s ass. 

“God, Jesus,” Steve whispered, bracing his hands on the bed, “You’re so goddamn tight.”

“Thank you, dear,” Loki caressed the side of Steve’s face, “Your length feels heavenly, you can start thrusting if you want, just be careful.”

Applying himself as well as he could, Steve began a languid pace that gradually became faster. Once he found a good rhythm, Loki began mewling with pleasure and his hole clenched mercilessly around his dick.

“God, that cock is good!” Loki moaned, gripping fingers onto Steve’s back, “Please, sweetheart, go deeper, please!”

Deciding to give Loki what he wanted, Steve angled his hips higher and thrust deeper into the prostitute’s wetness, feeling himself getting close.

Steve grunted and huffed, leaning down to bury his face in Loki’s neck as he plunged his cock rapidly in and out of his hole.

“Fuck!” Loki hissed as Steve plowed deeper, reaching down to jerk himself off, “I’m getting close, don’t stop!” 

“Me too,” Steve growled, desire lacing his voice, “I’m going to cum in your tight little ass, I’m going to do it.”

After a few more moments, Steve came with a guttural groan, balls slapping against Loki’s ass as he filled him up. It had been so long since he was able to feel the ecstasy of orgasm, and Loki’s tightness only enhanced the experience.

Loki gritted his teeth as he felt himself get right to the edge, enjoying the wonderful feeling of hot cum filling his hole. Fisting his needy cock, Loki finally climaxed and white drops decorated their chests as he came. The orgasm rocked him for a few short moments before disappearing faster than it had come.

The soldier rolled off of his lover, collapsing onto the bed and trying to catch his breath, “Jesus, Loki… That was the best sex I’ve ever fucking had.”

Loki chuckled and coughed to clear his throat, “That’s good, love. That’s good.” He was proud to have finally fucked someone worthwhile, feeling a bit of the old spark of bringing people to orgasm that he enjoyed when he’d first started, “I think that was the best fuck I’ve ever gotten, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And our long and smutty chapter comes to an end! I'm predicting probably 2 more chapters for this story, so make sure you guys have this bookmarked to see the end! Thank you for all the love and support so far with this story, I know you guys have been hoping for some smut for awhile, so I had to deliver. Let me know what you guys think and see you next week! :))


	9. Duty Calls

It went on like that, their little pattern. Between meals and spending nights together, the prostitute found love and the soldier found himself. The latter made many drawings of Loki, who was always happy to pose for him. He’d even bought a set of paint for Christmas and snuck it in one night. When Loki sat there on the bed as graceful as ever, he had no idea what was taking so long until Steve turned the canvas and let him look. Loki had carefully framed it in his kitchen where his clients wouldn’t be able to ruin it with their disgusting comments and filthy gazes.

Though their nights together were beautiful in the sort of way only love was, it was not always lollipops and roses. 

The war was getting into the nitty-gritty and Steve was being deployed off on longer trips to farther places for the weekends to sell his war bonds. Sales were usually always up, and so was his stress level. He came to Loki with his frustrations, mainly that he was not allowed to fight. He worried about his friend, a sergeant, who was away overseas. Steve wanted to serve, not just put on a stupid outfit and dance for a crowd of women waiting for their husbands to come home. There were plenty of tests being done on him as well, which left him sore- though he would never admit it.

Loki had his own share of troubles as well, many he didn’t want to admit. After being with Steve, he found his work more and more unpleasant as the weeks went on- especially when Steve was away for long periods of time. 

He refused to take Steve’s money now that they were in a relationship, which always worried the soldier who went through great pains to try to get Loki to accept the money. Sometimes the worrying was warranted and Loki had been barely able to eat for a week. Sometimes all Loki had to do was suffer through a few more clients at the end of a lonely Friday night to make ends meet. Sometimes he was able to bring himself to do it, sometimes he couldn’t. 

This was not to mention the injury he faced on a daily basis. He didn’t mind being slapped around a little by some drunk fool, but Commander Bedford was not the end of the large-scale physical abuse he faced at work. 

It didn’t happen often, but when it did, Steve always insisted on getting rid of the client causing the problem- risking his own reputation in the process. The soldier had never been caught, but the troublesome clients always went out of their way to badmouth him on the streets or to the owners of the brothel- which made Loki have to lay low for a few weeks. He appreciated it though, Steve getting rid of the biggest and worst assholes, he didn’t think his ribs would survive without his help. But still, his business was at stake and he couldn't afford to have people thinking he had some crazy pimp on the side.

Then there came the day that Steve took his first mission. He wasn’t home for weeks after rescuing Bucky and his unit from the infamous Red Skull. Two days before he convinced his commanding officer to let him return to Brooklyn one last time for “business”, Loki had gone his second day that week without food. 

Nervously waiting outside for Loki to be done with his client and keeping his hat low over his face to conceal himself, he tried to think of what to say to Loki. His lover never respected the idea of the military, so the importance of "duty calls" would never resonate with him.

About 10 minutes later, the door banged open and a disheveled man huffed out on his way, “He’s all yours pal, don’t worry, he ass is still tight enough.” He gave Steve a slap on the shoulder before he shuffled down the hallway and out of sight. Steve had kept his teeth gritted and tried to resist the urge to punch the guy in the face.

“Next!” he heard Loki yell with an edge of irritation in his tone from inside his room. Steve took time to wipe his muddy boots off on the doormat before he entered quietly and shut the door gently.

Loki whipped around from his place leaning over the bed, sore and tired as hell from having his hair yanked by the drugged up freak who just left, knowing exactly which man was taking his time to wipe his boots on the doormat. 

“Where have you been?” Loki snapped, whirling around and storming up to a newly uniformed Steve, kissing him with the angry passion of a wife whose husband came home late from work, “And what’s all this?” Loki asked the questions even though he was having deep realizations that he already knew the answers. He couldn’t look at Steve and turned away to go grab his green robe off its hook.

“I’ve been away, I fought my first mission. Bucky and his unit went MIA, I had to go find him, I couldn’t take sitting around anymore...It was maddening,” Steve took off his hat and hung it up, following it with his coat.

“And?” Loki paused making the bed, waiting for the words to crash into him like stones at the gallows.

“There are new developments about H.Y.D.R.A. and their plans and I have to go fight because if I don’t they’re going to come to America with their fancy new weapons and blow up everything I’ve--We’ve ever known,” Steve braced himself for the impact of Loki's anger, but nothing came. 

Loki bit his lip and held his breath, trying to keep in the sniffles and tears that threatened to escape. He wrenched the blanket back over the bed and sat down, pressing the back of his hand over his mouth and squeezing his eyes shut. He was not going to cry over this, he simply would not, “When do you leave?”

“Monday. They gave me two days to settle my business here in Brooklyn,” Steve bent down and unlaced his dirty boots, leaving them by the door before he made his way over to Loki.

The tears fell faster than he could stop them, and Loki went into Steve’s arms before the soldier could even sit down, “You’re going to die out there, you idiot. Why didn’t you tell them you wanted to keep selling bonds? Do you have any idea how dangerous all of this is? Do you have-Do you have any idea how long it will take? Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed you?” 

The questions ripped through Steve like daggers through bedsheets. 

All of his worries and concerns, coming out to bite him in the worst ways, “Loki…” His voice was strained by the weight of it all. He never thought he would have to worry about something like this. Not on his life would he ever imagine having a woman, and especially not a man, crying in his arms before he got deployed. He'd never even had an inkling of a thought all those times when he enlisted, it didn’t cross his mind weeks ago when he and Loki were in the heat of their relationship. How was he going to make this right?

“Loki I’m sorry, there’s nothing I can do, I have to fight… I’ve wanted this for so long, you know I’ll come back to you as soon as I can...Like I’ve been doing,” Steve tried to comfort him but knew it was fruitless. There was nothing he could say to make this right. Even though he'd never experienced this himself, the other guys back at the base all talked about their wives and their families. He'd heard the stories of wives in hysterics when their draft letters came in the mail, the miserable car rides to the deployment ships, crying children, the whole lot of it. Steve had always been secretly glad none of it had happened to him, even if that meant he really didn't have much to go home to. But now...

“Jesus God,” Loki replied between sobs, “Stop trying to lie to me. Fuck, just… Just sit there.” He didn’t know what he expected. Eventually, this guy was going start fighting, at the end of the tests, at the end of his training period, once he proved himself. These sorts of things never occurred to Loki whenever he’d engaged in relationships. What would the future be like? What did he have to worry about? The future was later, the present was now. But he hadn’t looked to the future, which was now his present, and he didn’t know how to handle it. 

After a bit more crying and chastising, Loki was exhausted and merely laid his head weakly against Steve’s chest, still sniffling and hiccuping every few moments. It was a pathetic state to find himself in, but he had been so miserable and stressed out for weeks and this was his breaking point. What the hell was he going to do without Steve around to keep him warm and feed him at the end of the week? Who else was going to paint him in a hotel room and keep his crappy radio on all night? Where else was he going to get a man this handsome who was also this kind? Who was going to iron Steve’s uniform and polish his buttons and medals while he was away? Who was going to fix his shitty radio and put new batteries in it when it died down at four in the morning so he would be able to hear it again when he woke up? Who was he going to spend his rations on and lay in bed with after the fuck of a lifetime?

“What do you want to do?” Steve whispered, petting Loki’s hair, “We still have some time.”

“Everything,” Loki whispered boldly, with the only energy he had left.

“What do you mean, ‘everything’?” Steve asked, confused by his sudden change in tone.

“Exactly what I said. Everything. Let’s go,” Loki got up, taking Steve by the hand. If this was their last weekend together, they had to do it all and he refused to waste any more time crying and down spiraling. He knew he would have plenty of time to lament over it later, and there was no more time to waste.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long to post today, I was catching up with a friend and we played the shit out of Delta Rune (mostly her, she was a lot better at it than me). But hey, here's chapter 9 with some sad boys for y'all, I did add this whole thing in the tags. Last chapter is gonna be posted next Sunday, so I hope you all are excited to see that. I've had a lot of fun with this fic so far, and I'll probably do more Frostshield in the future. I'll link whatever new stuff I start here for you guys when I get around to it. ;) See you guys next week and make sure you let me know what you guys think in the comments below! 
> 
> *For any Ironstrange fans out there, I finally got back into doing my Kinktober stuff after my hiatus with that, so here's days 19 and 20 for those of you who are interested: [Days 19 & 20](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16184075/chapters/39194668)


	10. Love of My Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, mind the tags with this one. There's a hint mention of suicidal thoughts as well as alcoholism and major character deaths. I wasn't going to have time to post on Sunday since this weekend is jam packed for me, so I decided to post the last chapter today instead and change the publication date. Also thank you to Queen and Freddie for the inspiration that brought us the title of this chapter. Enjoy, everyone.

It was about half past eight and Loki decided to pour himself a drink, the bitter bourbon he hated with a great passion. He gave himself a hefty pour and sat by the open window. It was record-breakingly hot today, even for the UK.

“At least I won’t be here when it all crumbles to dust,” he thought, tipping the bottle out of the window and letting a good splash of the liquid hit the bushes before he pulled his arm back inside. He set the bottle down by the nightstand next to him, thinking about things like the greenhouse effect and how bad things were these days. Not wanting to wait around any longer for his ritual, Loki decided it was time to look at them again. He had already retrieved the box, ready for his annual read-over of the letters. 

Taking a brave gulp of the fiery liquid, Loki flicked open the clasp on the little dusty wooden box to reveal the yellowed pieces of paper inside. He felt like he was drinking battery acid, wincing as he swallowed. Loki then sifted through them to the back, which held the last letter Steve had ever sent him. It read:

_Love of my life,_

__

__

_They didn’t give me much time to write and only one piece of paper, so here we go. Right now I’m on the plane back to base and we’re going to get going as soon as we all get settled. This is really dangerous and it’s probably going to be a while until you see me again. They’re thinking of transferring me to England soon on another mission, so I thought it best to meet you there._

_I remembered what you said, about wanting to visit home again and all those nights we talked about our fantasy life with the mansion and the champagne...So I saved up all the money you didn’t let me give you and I’ve enclosed a check with this letter. It’s almost all the money in my account (I left enough to pay for the rest of my bills back home) and it should be enough to get you a ticket to London and hopefully somewhere to stay. If there aren’t any hangups, I should be able to see you again in about a month- so don’t spend it all at once! We’ve got so much more to do together, so just wait for me, okay? I already have a plan. Once this war is over, you won’t have to sell yourself out like that anymore. I’ll be able to support you. One way or another, maybe we can sell my paintings. Anyway, I’m starting to get nauseous, so I’ll write you again as soon as I can. Take care of yourself, alright? You’re all I have left to go back to, so don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone. See you on the other side of the world, baby._

__

_Love,_

_Steve_

On the bottom corner, Steve had paper-clipped a small daisy he had likely found somewhere outside the airport. It was long dead and shriveled now, but Loki was gentle with it year after year to protect his last little gift from the soldier. It was over fifty years old. Loki carefully wrapped the first letter back up and went on to the others, reading them in descending order. Every time Steve had been gone for more than three days, he had sent one.

As he read Steve’s letters, Loki went back in time to that last day they had spent together.

There had been so much to do with their last few hours, some of it he couldn’t even remember these days. It had been written down, though, in one of his old journals. Loki closed his eyes for a few moments as he recalled what he could.

There had been a bit of drinking, dancing, sex, of course...But there was so much more. 

As they moved through the city for the afternoon, they took the time to do the things that normal people did when they were in love. Loki was able to try ice cream for the first time in a very long time. They saw a movie together, too, a short one, and held hands while they watched. It was dark so no one could see them.

They ate dinner out at one of the fanciest restaurants, got a coffee, and rode the train around to the different neighborhoods of New York for hours. It was easily the most exhilarating experience he had ever had. They visited museums before they closed, sat in the beautiful parks and fed pigeons with leftover cake crumbs from dessert. They bought paint at the expensive art shop in Manhattan, a dress for Loki at the boutique (though they said it was for a wife back home), and ended the night in the nicest hotel they could afford.

There, Steve painted Loki in his new dress, as fast as he could. During that time, they asked each other the things they hadn’t asked before, Steve’s radio tilling on in the background. They kissed wherever they could because kisses were memories and they both knew it. They kissed in the shower together while the painting dried. They kissed while they made a midnight snack of toast and eggs, a pretend breakfast, one they had never had the chance to make at a reasonable time. They danced on the balcony at a quarter to two, drinking the best bourbon Steve could buy. Loki hated it-- it was an awful drink, it was something only hardened American soldiers enjoyed. But he drank it anyway, gulping it down like the elixir of life to catch up with Steve.

When they tired of dancing, they fucked until they were too exhausted to move on to another activity. They talked and kissed until nothing they said made sense and their throats were so sore they could no longer speak. They gazed at each other and took everything in until their eyes wouldn’t stay open, and then they finally fell still in a tangle of arms and legs while sleep sedated them. They had loved until they were out of everything- time, energy, money. Deep down, Loki thought, Steve knew he wasn’t going to come back, or else he never would have been so irresponsible.

By the next morning, the soldier was gone and Loki was left in bed. 

A day after that, the papers reeled with the terrible news. America's greatest defender had crashed into the sea, the cursed black and white headliners read, he had died a hero- saving the city he loved while sealing his own fate in Davey Jones' locker. 

One month later, Loki was in England again, nearly killing himself and finding the bottoms of more bottles than he cared to admit. He surrounded himself with them, long green bottles, as he read over the letter with the daisy over and over again.

Loki had planned to drink himself to death that night on the delicious nectar of English wine, but he had passed out and his mother’s telegram came his way the next morning once she heard of his return. If the message had come any later...Well, that would have been entirely another story. 

These days, Loki made his way through life with relative ease. Steve’s money had bought him a modeling career. He sold silks, robes, dresses, with hardly any shame he modeled them himself. He hit the drag scene every now and then, trying to sate himself with new lays. But he knew inside it wouldn’t be the same. No one could best Steve, and eventually, Loki had decided to stop making himself disappointed; again putting all of his energy into his work. 

In due time, Loki had made a beautiful life for himself with his career. He had reconnected with his mother, eventually telling her the whole story. His business as a tailor had also soon paid him back in due time. His clients eventually figured out about his...unique affections, and soon he was London's most high-functioning undercover homosexual. No officer or official dared smite him, not when he made their wives' favorite gowns.

Whenever he had spare hours, he practiced painting. These days it was a bit harder with the way his joints ached, but every now and then he would indulge. Various works hung around the house, Steve’s paintings of him always above the bed. To an outsider, he might have seemed like a narcissist- having paintings of himself above his bed, but he was merely a man long lost to love. 

Each day Loki took as his own, trying not to remember and hoping never to forget at the same time. As he slowed down, Loki had come to welcome the fact that his life was going to come to an end. He did not fear death; his life had been well-spent...But he wanted to see Steve again. He thought about it every day.

Eventually, Loki had suffered through the rest of his drink and switched it out for wine while he finished reading the letters. Once he was finished, he packed them all neatly back into the box, along with the various photos of Steve he had collected. Tucking it back into the cabinet, Loki stood up and wobbled back to bed, taking his wine with him. No tears fell this year, but he supposed he had grown used to the pain of Steve’s absence after fifty years of it. 

Pushing aside a stack of old medical bills and a new, unopened letter from the doctor’s office, Loki made a space on the nightstand to move Steve’s picture closer. As he drank into the night, growing dizzier and weaker, he kept Steve’s face in view. 

He took his last hungry sip of the spirit and let the bottle fall from his shaking fingers, fingers that were worn down with age and from years of sewing and painting. Loki laid back in his bed, unable to keep his eyes open. He weakly grabbed Steve’s picture and held it to his chest, running his thumb over the cold groves in the metal until he could move no longer. 

The year was 1995. It had been so long, he had waited so long. His last breath ghosted from between his lips, his spirit leaving its vessel back on earth.

When Loki awoke again, it was quiet at first and he didn't want to open his eyes. He was incredibly tired, the faint taste of wine on his lips. Just as he came to his senses, he heard it again...The sound of a little radio, a little radio sitting across the room, broadcasting the morning news. 

"Hey baby," a familiar voice called from the kitchen, "Breakfast is ready."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I hope you all enjoyed the ending, as sad as it was. For anyone concerned/confused, Loki didn't commit suicide here, it was his time and the bourbon/wine did not kill him. He just simply moved on to the next life and met Steve there.
> 
> Aside from that, I want to give a big thank you to everyone who has been reading and supporting this fic and my work overall. I appreciate all of the hits, kudos, and feedback, all of that stuff really keeps me motivated to keep writing these things. I never thought I would find myself writing a Frostshield fic, honestly, the idea sort of just came to me while I was talking with a friend and I had to write it. I hope to do more Frostshield in the future if you guys like it, and I'll still be updating my Kinktober stuff as I get those done. I'll also post here when I start a new fic, but for the mean time I think I'm gonna take a little break before the holidays to focus on school. I'll likely get more stuff out during winter break. 
> 
> Last of all I want to give a shoutout to three users in particular: Cellis, Miabelles (MiaBelles), and Lokislonelylady. You guys are awesome and I appreciate all the love you've given this fic, thank you very much for support!
> 
> See you guys soon and let me know what you think of the final chapter! :)


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